CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

Meryn was not angry with Chaldez for long. That evening they went for a walk together, strolling along the banks of a small stream. Spring was turning into summer and the air was losing its chill. Meryn turned.
"Are you thinking of that woman?" she taunted him, and while he hunted for a reply she sat down on the grass, and looked up at him, her head cocked to one side.
He sat down beside her, and she lay back, her arms behind her head.
"Did you think her very beautiful?" she asked.
He lay on his side beside her. "She's handsome," he said, "but you're prettier."
She propped up her head and looked down at him, smiling. "You can kiss me if you like," she said.
He supposed she thought him an inexperienced boy, and he deliberately surprised her with the ardour of his kiss. During the course of it he became aroused, and she knew it. She pushed him away, as though needing to catch her breath. "I do believe you would take me, if I let you," she said with mock outrage. "Supposing someone was to come and see us?"
Chaldez just said: "Let them come. They might learn something."
He kissed her again, and this time she offered no resistance, and when his hands touched her breasts she moaned. He sensed that she was his; she was warm and soft in his arms; pliant and willing, and now he kissed her with abandoned passion.
Afterwards he knew that he would have made love to her, there and then on the grassy hillock. The reason he did not was because someone did indeed come by. It was a young cowherd, bringing some beasts in from a distant pasture. He stared at the two lovers, and he winked at Chaldez. Meryn saw him do it, and she was not amused. Her anger was short-lived, but the moment had passed. They kissed and caressed before returning to the camp.
That night Chaldez lay awake, thinking about what might have been had they not been disturbed. Meryn was offering herself to him; he had no doubt about that. It was a pleasing thought and he dwelt on it for a while. Then he thought about Doo and wondered how she was making out, and he realised that his plan to send for her when he reached Sorrin was not as sound as he had originally thought. Supposing she had settled down in Reard? She might easily prefer to stay there rather than go through all the trouble of up-rooting herself in order to make the long and possibly dangerous journey to Sorrin. In which case it would be an unkindness to send for her. With this thought he went to sleep.
The next day he spoke to Dan about his difficulty.
Dan gave him a puzzled look. "I don't understand what the problem is," he said.
"I've just told you. Should I send for Doo when we get to Sorrin. She might not want to come, and besides, what would I tell Meryn?"
"Meryn!" Dan exclaimed. "You're wondering what you'd tell Meryn? How long have you known that child? Ten days is it? Has she risked her life for you? Would she risk a beating to come and comfort you if you were nothing but a snivelling little slave? What is this Meryn to you, compared with Doo? Are you really telling me you'd let Doo rot in that hole you left her in?"
"I left her in!" Chaldez shouted. "You mean you left her in! It was I who wanted to go back and get her."
"Get killed, you mean! What good would that have done her?"

"I don't know why you're interfering in this anyway," said Chaldez. "It's got nothing to do with you," and with that he stumped off.
Meryn was busy helping her mother and father that day, so Chaldez went to find Pau, who greeted him with a second zaratha. It was a spare instrument which he had put into order, and Chaldez, to his own great delight, discovered that he still remembered something of what he had been taught before the voyage to Theigia.
That evening he and Meryn went for another walk, but this time Chaldez steered her towards a small copse of trees and there, lying on his travelling cloak, they made love. Afterwards it was too cold to stay lying in each others' arms for long so they went back to the fair. Meryn clung to him, and she still clung to him when they saw her mother. She was strangely exhilarated, and he was momentarily afraid that she would blurt out what had happened.
During the next days she stayed close to him; or rather, she found one pretext after another to keep him close to her. He wanted to play the zaratha with Pau, but she found other, more pressing things for him to do.
Dan was scornful: "You've fucked her, haven't you? Well now she means to marry you. The would-be king of Sair married to a ropemaker's daughter, spending the rest of his days with a travelling fair! So much for avenging the murders of your mother and father; so much for claiming your crown. And don't forget this, ropemaker's husband, both my mother and father died for your sake."
Chaldez directed an agonised look at him. "I'm mad," he said. "I'm mad to have done what I did - but how can I leave her?"
"You will," said Dan.
After that, Chaldez began to resent Meryn's demands; he became morose and uncommunicative, and she responded by becoming increasingly attentive and affectionate. Her pathetic, desperate attempts to rekindle his affection for her were repellent to him. When she tried to make him laugh he scowled at her; if she teased him he walked away. He began to think of Doo, and the realisation of how close he had been to abandoning her horrified him. When he looked at Meryn or heard the sound of her voice he could hardly believe that he had thought she could replace Doo; Doo was a rock compared with Meryn's bag of feathers; she was the rock he had built his life on, and he longed for the day he could send for her.
One evening Meryn contrived to be alone with him. She led him away from the encampment and sat down on a fallen tree and burst into tears. He was disgusted, as much with himself, perhaps, as with her, and would have returned to the camp, but she seized his hand and begged him not to go. Controlling her sobbing as best she could she asked: "What have I done to you? Why do you hate me?"
He muttered: "I don't hate you."
"But you must do to want to hurt me so much."
Seeing her, broken-hearted and weeping, made him realise that the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her. He sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulder. She leant her head against his breast and sobbed and sobbed.
"How can I explain this?" he asked. Then he said: "You and I . . . we could never be together. My life is so complicated, Meryn . . . "
She looked up at him. "You mean there's someone else?" There was a hard look in her eyes as she spoke.
"In a way," he said.
She stiffened, and pulled herself away from him.

"It's true," he said. "There is someone else. But it's more than that."
"More than that!" she exclaimed, her anguish turned into fury. "Did you think I was a harlot who just lets any man who comes along enjoy my body? Don't you know, Chaldez, you are the first?"
He knew, but there was nothing he could say. He stared at her, and she stared back at him. When at last he spoke his voice was so low she could hardly hear what he was saying. "I didn't want to hurt you - I loved you! The gods were cruel to have let us meet. They know our destiny; they know we could never be together."
"I don't understand you," she said. "I think you must be mad."
"I was mad. I was mad to think we could have any life together, but for a while I did. That was my madness. I am dust, blown by the wind from place to place. No-one can share my life."
She reached up with her hand and turned his face towards hers again. "I'll go with you," she said. "We can be together. What do the gods know or care about us?"
He jerked his head and looked away. "You don't understand? I am a hunted man. My mother and father were murdered, and their murderer would murder me."
"Who? Who murdered your parents?"
"Sigmar, King of Sair, that's who! There, I've told you now. He killed my father, the king, his half-brother."
"You are mad!"
"Think what you like but it's the truth. Look, I've got this to prove it."
He showed her the locket, and when he opened it to reveal the Roe Aada ruby she gave a little squeal of surprise. She gazed at it, her eyes wide. "Who are you?" she asked, looking into his face.
"I am the rightful king of Sair Jisenner and I am heir to the throne of Kroya. The usurper Sigmar is on my throne, and he would have me dead."
"I wouldn't let him kill you," she said, smiling.
Then Chaldez told her about the attempt to poison him, about his flight to Theigia, the ship-wreck and his life since then. When he had finished Meryn asked: "What should I call you, my lord?"
He held her arm, very tightly. "You should know none of this," he said. "I was forced to tell you because of what's happened between us. You understand me?"
She nodded, and grinned. "Yes, Chaldez, I understand."
Later that night, when he was alone, Chaldez shuddered at the thought of what he had done. But he was able to comfort himself that perhaps there was no real damage. When they reached Sorrin and he found out who was on the throne it would not matter who knew his secret.